My drive has gone since having my son?

i love my hubby. i really do and i still find him y, but when i had my son who is now 4 months old, the labour was awful and i still haven't put it behind me. i lost a lot of blood and had to have my uterus maged after pushing out a ten pound baby!! it was the worst pain i have EVER felt and it was worse than the birth itself. the doctors had to do this for roughly 45 mins and i honestly thought i was a goner. while this was happening i was aware my son was being resucitated and we thought we had lost him aswell (he opened his bowels while still in the womb and filled his lungs with it). i still have not got over this and i find it hard to let my hubby touch me. i use very reliable contraception so i am not worried about getting pregnant. i just freeze when he touches me in bed, i can't even do cuddles anymore and i am scared he will leave me or play away. what do i do? it's like i have lost all kind of affection. and i feel like i can't let my son out of my sight either. help!!